Question: I’m really into watersports. I’ve never disclosed this to my partner but I’d love for us to do it. Any thoughts on how to approach this relatively taboo subject and introduce it into our sex lives?
Introducing a fetish into the bedroom with a partner is always a tricky one, made more difficult still if your particular kink is somewhat more “out there” than the usual. For those who saw “watersports” and assumed the guy asking fancies getting it on with his missus whilst on the back of a jet ski, you are very much mistaken my friend. Watersports refers to the act of someone either wetting themselves, such as peeing into their own underwear or clothing whilst still wearing it, peeing on somebody else or being peed on by their partner. Like I said, it’s pretty “out there” and, as you mentioned in your question, watersports does tend to be viewed as one of the more taboo fetishes out there. It’s easy to see why it’s a daunting prospect, bringing it up to your partner as something you’d like to try as the idea of peeing on someone or being peed on during sex is not massively sexy to most. For me personally, I just want to put it out there that I never ever want to be pissed on, nor would I ever want to urinate on somebody, no matter how hard it got them. However, having worked in the sex industry for this long, I’ve found that men wanting to watch a woman pee or be peed on is actually more common than you would think (there’s probably women who are into it too but I’ve never had any female customers). Maybe it’s the taboo aspect of it that gets participants off, the sheer filthiness of it or the idea of someone, quite literally, letting themselves go completely. Who knows.
I don’t judge what gets other people off; as long as your fetish is legal, doesn’t involve anybody getting hurt and takes place between consenting adults then it is nobody’s business what goes on behind closed doors (unless you’re me and are constantly opening those doors up in order to make a living. A door related vagina metaphor – who saw that coming?).
Introducing a fetish into the bedroom can be difficult, no matter what the fetish is. I’m really into spanking which is pretty tame compared to most kinks but whenever I mention it, men assume I want them to slap my arse while I’m riding them when in actual fact, I would like to dedicate a whole section of our foreplay time to being spanked. Don’t get me wrong, a slap on the butt whilst on top is still hot but I love the whole act of getting spanked. I like being bent over, the anticipation of waiting for a slap, the tingling cheeks and red handprint it leaves. I’m not as into it as some people; I draw the line at being caned across the bum but I do own a spanking paddle and even the back of a hairbrush would do me.
I’m no expert – I have no professional training in any kind of sexual education, apart from having had a lot of fucking sex – but here is my advice if you are wanting to introduce a fetish into the bedroom:
How serious is your relationship?
If it’s early days in a relationship and you’re still just getting to know each other, opening up to your new partner about being into watersports may be enough for her to be put off and end things. If you’re more secure in your relationship and have been together a while, I think she may be more inclined to hear you out. Being open and honest about what you like can actually be a turn on for your partner. There is something very sexy and intimate about hearing about what really gets your other half off. Some people say that the sexiest part of somebody is there mind and personally I love nothing more than a man telling me what gets him off while he plays with me or vice versa. It’s so erotic to know what really makes someone tick and you never know, it might be something that it does turn out that she wants to explore, too.
Gauge your partner’s interest
If I was you, I would bring up the topic of watersports almost in a jokey manner or even casually such as “I was watching a porno the other day and the guy in it peed on a woman”. Don’t elaborate anymore than that but see how she reacts or responds to that. If she looks disgusted then chances are she’s not going to want you to then suggest you try it out later that night.
You could also try broaching the subject during foreplay, if you are talking dirty to each other. Let her know what you like but do be warned, if it’s not her thing at all it may kill the mood, but I’m a big believer in if you don’t ask you don’t get.
Build up to it
Often the idea of trying something new can be intimidating, especially if someone isn’t entirely sure what exactly it is that you want them to do. If she does seem keen to try it out, I’d suggest watching some porn together in which watersports does take place. Let her see what it does for you and how you envision your interaction taking place. Set aside a specific time to try it and if I was you, I’d probably do it in a bathroom – preferably a shower.
The most important thing of all to remember is that if your partner isn’t keen to try it then don’t push it. Relationships should be about mutual respect, trust and security, not pressuring or guilt tripping each other into doing things that you may not be comfortable with. Decide what is more important to you – your relationship or what gets you off. If you are really struggling to enjoy sex without being able to incorporate watersports into the proceedings then you have a real problem but if you can go without and still get off on “regular” sex then just keep the watersports stuff to porn. Fantasies are usually better than reality, anyway.