One of the best things about working in the sex industry is how inclusive it is and how easy it is to meet and connect with other women who make their money in the same way I do. When I first got Instagram I felt so overwhelmed, constantly comparing myself to other women on there, checking out other models pages and wondering why I wasn’t as popular as them. Then I relaxed and realised that we all have our own unique selling points and our own “fans”. I like being able to give you an insight into the world of sex work here on my blog but I also think it is always interesting to hear from other sexworkers, too so this weeks blog comes to you from the very lovely Kalita Khaos.
I like being able to give you an insight into the world of sex work here on my blog but I also think it is always interesting to hear from other sexworkers, too so this weeks blog comes to you from the very lovely Kalita Khaos.
Hi, I’m Kalita and I’m a sex worker.
And what exactly is a sex worker, I hear you cry?
A sex worker is someone who works in – you guessed it – the sex industry. It’s defined as the provision of sexual services for money or goods. I myself sell adult content online such as photosets and videos and I also webcam occasionally. Topless and nude models, cam models, strippers, lapdancers and escorts all fall under the umbrella of sex work. It’s important to recognise that sex work is, just that – work! It has its ups and downs just like any other job!
I’m here to talk about the pros and cons to being and sex worker and maybe (hopefully) break down some misconceptions!
Sex work = easy money, right?
Wrong! Sex work may be one of the oldest professions in the world but easy money it is not. When I first wanted to get into nude modelling and webcamming, so many of my non sex worker friends told me they bet it’d be easy and thought I’d “get rich quick”. This couldn’t be further from the truth!
The truth is, not many people want to pay for their porn. Or anything, for that matter. If sex work has taught me anything, its that we live in a society where the general public expects things for free (or ridiculously cheap).
In order to earn a good living from sex work, it takes years of building up a following, engaging with your audience regularly and spending a lot of time and money on your craft.
People say that some sex workers (particularly cam models) “get lucky” but even so, they’re in the minority. Plus we don’t know what goes on behind the scenes, what work they put in to get to where they are, so I treat that as a myth! If luck and timing is on your side it helps, but there’s always, always hard work involved.
So what are the pros and cons of sex work? Let’s start with the pros…
Pros to Sex Work
Being able to work from home – this is a double-edged sword and depends on what form of sex work you do, but I work from home a lot and for the most part I love it!
Choosing your own hours – I love the flexibility that sex work gives me, the way I can plan ahead and have whatever day off I want! You do have to be super dedicated though as there’s no sick pay when you’re ill or paid holidays.
Being your own boss – It gives me a great deal of satisfaction watching my business grow and figuring out ways that I can continually make it better!
The confidence boost – Sex work has greatly improved my confidence. I still have bad days, but for the most part I love my body.
Meeting wonderful and like-minded people – I’ve gotten to know so many lovely models! But I also get to talk to lovely fans and followers alike, some of which I would never have got to meet otherwise.
Self-expression – Sex work is a wonderful opportunity for me to express myself creatively and sexually and above all, on my terms!
I could work nearly anywhere in the world – I say nearly because some countries have strict laws on nudity, but if I wanted to travel with my work, all I need is a good internet connection!
So now we’ve gone through the good bits, what are the cons?
Cons to Sex Work
Creeps – Yep, you read that right. A lot of people seem to think sex workers should accept being spoken to like rubbish, given their line of work, right? WRONG. Believe it or not, you can appreciate someone’s beauty or their sexual energy without being creepy, rude or derogatory. who would’ve thought(?!)
Social media – it’s a huge part of the job and unfortunately sex workers are constantly being pushed off social media, despite following terms of service! Not only that it can be pretty draining. You have to deal with a lot of creeps, trolls and then the stress of your reach and engagement. For me it ends up inducing a lot of anxiety!
Theft – When people steal your content it’s disheartening to say the least. So much work goes into shows and content, which people often record or re-distribute online for free!
Fake accounts – People impersonate you all the time. You can warn all your fans across social media and they’ll still end up conversing with the fake account or clicking some dodgy link, then somehow get angry with you like it’s your fault, as if you have Instagram HQ on speed dial and can just delete all fake accounts at will (I wish!).
Entitlement – some followers will assume that because they liked some posts they now get to have content or hours of your time a day chatting, all for free. (Jaye note: Entitlement is something that comes up a LOT with regards to being a woman on the internet. My previous guest poster wrote a whole post on it…)
Dick pics – You start to learn to just pretty much block any user that sends a photo.
Cabin fever – As a sex worker who works from home a lot, it can be very isolating. You start missing that awkward lunch time small talk from your old job. I personally try to make an effort to get of the house, even if just for a coffee!
In conclusion, sex work is like any other business! It’s a lot of time, effort and money to really get it off the ground. We have to pay for everything like outfits, photographers, editing, studios or hotels, website hosting, site fees, not to mention the amount of money we spend on make-up, lashes, nails or general beauty products and services. A lot of the money we make goes back into the business.
For me though, it’s worth every second! There is this assumption that sex workers are only in the industry because of dire circumstances or being forced into it, the former isn’t always true – I chose this because I loved it – and the latter is trafficking, which is hugely different than sex work! But that’s a different topic.
Thank you for reading and please feel free to follow me on social media or to check out my work using the links below!
You can find the lovely Kalita here…