Like a true blogger I thought I’d enter into the spirit of things and write something of a roundup piece for 2018. I did something similar on my Instagram stories last night, posting pictures from times that have stood out the most for me over the last year and prompting me to then post the pictures which got the most reaction in my DMs, to my profile page too in order to ensure that they got me the full “love” I so desperately crave. Oh the internet and what it’s done to our feeble minds and fragile egos, aye!
I wouldn’t consider myself particularly superstitious or any of that malarkey but I definitely do buy into that whole “new year new me” bullshit. I also seem to believe that every new year that arrives holds some kind of significance for me too. For example, 2017 was the year I turned 27 on the 27th of a month and I was convinced that, as the number 7 seems to hold a lot of weight in the spiritual world, that this would be the year that everything came together for me. Well, you may not be surprised to hear that that infact did not happen and so I decided it would be in 2018 that I sorted myself out and got onto the path that I do actually want to follow. I’m not sure I’ve made it quite onto that path yet, but I’m halfway across the field towards it and that’s definitely a start.
New Year, New Me
And overall, 2018 did turn out to be a very good year. I made some good decisions, such as finally taking the gym seriously (that lasted all of four months but hey!) and finally learning to drive, and I made some bad decisions, although thankfully none as bad as the ones in 2017. Progress. I had a lot of sex in the first half of the year, although nobody particularly note worthy springs to mind (am so sorry if you’re reading this and that includes you, I have an awful memory these days – maybe I need a refresher 😏) and less sex in the second part of the year. I still had some rather erotic encounters, some of which I may write about in more detail later on, but I also made a conscious decision to start acting my bloody age and stop going on nights out, getting all maudlin about having no one to go home to and taking home pointless one night stands for an average, drunken bang.
For the first time in God knows how many years I also met a man who took me seriously and who I started thinking about building a future with. I even cleared out my contact list which trust me, is a big deal for me. He was the first man I’ve ever introduced to my family, which just so happened to be on the night that my mother dropped the bombshell that she had breast cancer. Kind of felt like she was trying to steal my thunder a little bit (if you’re not a fan of gallows humour then sorry/not sorry but in life if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry) but as it turned out neither my relationship nor her illness lasted and she’s made a full recovery and got to ring the bell that signaled the end of her treatment and I’m single again but as it stands I could care less about that part as my beautiful, kind, wonderful mother, who would absolutely kill me if she knew I had a blog about my sex life, is happy and in good health.
A few other momentous things happened this year too – I got ghosted a few times, catfished another and met a ridiculously hot, funny, buff guy who was into me and somehow ended up sleeping with his friend instead (I am the Queen of Self Sabotage). I also went on some extremely funny holidays, some with family and some with friends, one of which involved one of our group sucking beer off of the nipples of a man dressed in full latex – I’ll let you decide which posse I was with on that particular evening.
Me strutting my stuff in Butlins & bumping into a “fan” 😂
But it hasn’t all been shits and giggles. I’ve also had some very low points this year. I’ve suffered with debilitating anxiety for as long as I can remember and there were times this year where I lost the plo completely, sucked in so deeply by this vacuum of worries that I’d be unable to sleep at night, pacing the floors with this desperate need to vomit. I also fell out with some very close family members about my job and wondered, not for the first time, why I am still living in the hometown I vowed never to return to. (God that almost sounded more dramatic than I meant it to 😅)
2018 was a good year
But on the whole, its been one of the best years. I’ve finally got myself back on track and although you can never scrub anxiety out completely, I’ve gone back on medication (something I didn’t really want to do but its definitely working for me) and finally feel like I have some sense of purpose and direction with my plans and my subsequent career. I’ve also let me guard down a lot this year, on Instagram and the like, showcasing a lot more of my “true” self and my personality, as opposed to just being this sultry eyed posing minx all the time. I’ve accepted that as much as I like to look and feel sexy, I’m not constantly looking like that day to day but that that doesn’t make me any less engaging. If anything I think it’s way more interesting to be funny and to have something to say for yourself then to post yet another selfie of backside, although I will still be doing those too. I am a creature of habit, after all.
Starting this blog has also been a highlight of this year and having such awesome feedback from my readers has really made my day a lot of the time. I’m naked and spread wide open all over the internet (including right here in my OnlyFans) but writing, giving people access to my most intimate thoughts and feelings, feels so much more personal to me than any picture of my vagina ever could. So thank you for reading and here’s to a bloody good 2019.