Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Jaaaaye Rose (mate, that fits so ridiculously well with the Jay Z – PSA tune I could not resist) …anyway, I realise I’ve been more than a bit of a Slack Alice when it comes to consistency here and I must shamefully admit that this is because I don’t currently make any money from blogging, which means that it tends to slide down my list of priorities for things to do! I thought I’d come back and give you a quick life and sex update. My sex life has been surprisingly dry recently but I’m going to accredit that to the fact that I’ve finally decided to be a proper adult and have been busy making future life plans. I did, however, give a guy a rather impressive blowjob (even if I do say so myself) in his car after a somewhat boozy night out the other week. Somehow after that we randomly got onto the topic of religion – and here I am refraining myself massively from entering a potentially blasphemous comment about my head game sending him to Heaven or something of that nature – but it turned out that he’s actually really religious and he went off onto this huge spiel about how he doesn’t believe in dinosaurs, which was an extremely surreal conversation to have while the taste of someone’s spunk is still in your gob but hey, welcome to my life.
I was watching “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” earlier (side note: how have I only just got into this show!? Its quite literally one of the funniest things I have ever watched!) and was on the episode where Frank talks about how he and Artemis are having this really kinky, food-fetish fuck buddy relationship. As I lay in front of my laptop in my hungover and lonely state, I got to thinking about the topic of fuck buddies, mainly: are people still doing it?
Actually, if we are going to get literal about it, Frank refers to Artemis as his “booty call”, which to me is a different thing to a “fuck buddy”. I associate a “booty call” as being a late-night option, with a hook up usually recurring as the result of an alcohol fueled “you up?” text sent at around 2am. The idea of a “fuck buddy” alludes to a slightly more consistent acquaintance, suggesting that you aren’t intoxicated everytime you see them – unless you are me and were intoxicated everytime I saw anyone I knew for the whole first half of my twenties.
Question: I’m really into watersports. I’ve never disclosed this to my partner but I’d love for us to do it. Any thoughts on how to approach this relatively taboo subject and introduce it into our sex lives?
Introducing a fetish into the bedroom with a partner is always a tricky one, made more difficult still if your particular kink is somewhat more “out there” than the usual. For those who saw “watersports” and assumed the guy asking fancies getting it on with his missus whilst on the back of a jet ski, you are very much mistaken my friend. Watersports refers to the act of someone either wetting themselves, such as peeing into their own underwear or clothing whilst still wearing it, peeing on somebody else or being peed on by their partner. Like I said, it’s pretty “out there” and, as you mentioned in your question, watersports does tend to be viewed as one of the more taboo fetishes out there. It’s easy to see why it’s a daunting prospect, bringing it up to your partner as something you’d like to try as the idea of peeing on someone or being peed on during sex is not massively sexy to most. For me personally, I just want to put it out there that I never ever want to be pissed on, nor would I ever want to urinate on somebody, no matter how hard it got them. However, having worked in the sex industry for this long, I’ve found that men wanting to watch a woman pee or be peed on is actually more common than you would think (there’s probably women who are into it too but I’ve never had any female customers). Maybe it’s the taboo aspect of it that gets participants off, the sheer filthiness of it or the idea of someone, quite literally, letting themselves go completely. Who knows.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been lucky enough recently to be gifted a delicious set of sex toys from the wonderful Vegan Toys (www.vegantoys.co.uk). As the name would suggest, Vegan Toys sell a whole range of sex toys for both men and woman, as well as toys for couples, with their own product range being made without any harsh chemicals or materials. Don’t be deceived by the name though; you don’t have to be a vegan to enjoy these toys – if you like a thick juicy steak as much as you like a thick juicy length, you can still knock yourself out with the whole plethora of pleasure makers the site sells!
Having worked in the sex industry for a decade now, I like to think of myself as something of a connoisseur when it comes to sex toys. I’m not saying they’d be my specialist subject on Mastermind, but I definitely know what works for me or not when it comes to getting myself off. One of the first things that drew me to the Vegan Toy brand was their ethos that, just like fruit and vegetables are good for your body, “orgasms are healthy” and good for you too. And orgasms are not just about pleasure; they are a good stress reliver too, they help you sleep better and apparently they can even relieve pain such as muscle tension and headaches, too! As if you needed anymore of a reason to make yourself cum…
Sorry not sorry if this makes me sound bitter as hell but I fucking hate Valentine’s Day. As someone who is chronically single and most of the time quite happy to be so, Valentine’s Day still hits me like a slap in the face every February, making me you question how everyone else is managing to hold down normal relationships while I’m still getting left on “read”. If you read my last post about the Welsh Valentine’s Day you may be intrigued to know what, if anything, has happened with the potential love matches mentioned there. No prizes for guessing that those possibilities have gone to shit already and so yes, I am spending the 14th February alone, again. This year, as luck would have it, I am actually on my period this Valentines’ which is perfect timing because it means that at least I can’t set myself up with a sympathy shag and end up regretting it the next day.
There are about a billion blog and magazine articles out around this time of year advising you on the best place to date on Valentine’s and because taking relationship advice from me would be on a par with taking dating advice from an owl, I’ve decided to write you a little “Do’s and Don’t”’s list if you’re single on Valentine’s Day.